It’s a common enough occurrence; you get engaged- when are you getting married?
You get married. When are you going to have a baby?
You have a baby. When are you going to give him/her a brother or sister?
You have a second baby- and then the piece de resistance if you fail in the creation of a ‘gentleman’s family’ and are saddled with two children of the same sex. *Shudder*
When are you going for the boy (or girl)?
Although it does seem- possibly just to me thanks to personal experience- that people are much more concerned if you’ve been cursed with two female offspring.
To clarify, the majority of the time these questions don’t bother me- not when they come from family or friends- from those I myself have probably evoked eye rolls from by asking the same questions.
It’s when these questions are spat from the mouths of people who I wouldn’t necessarily consider to be close enough for sharing such intimate details like whether or not my husband and I are going to engage in unprotected sexual intercourse with the sole purpose of one of his sperm wriggling into my egg to create a baby. And not just any old baby- a baby with a penis nonetheless.
These same people will also inform me, after I politely explain our family is complete after having two girls, that;
“Ah shur, you have to give himself a boy!”
Because the girls are mine and the boys are his? Logic people!
In fact there are even more reasons why I do not have to give my husband his very own child;
1. We wanted and planned for two children
2. We have two children
3. The fact that these two children have vaginas does not negate the aforementioned ‘two-children’ plan.
4. We view children as individuals and I would never assume that our girls will have stereotypical female interests. Yes, my older girl adores princesses but the youngest may love cars. Boys or girls, children are individuals and interests and traits are personal to each irregardless of gender – girls may play with cars, boys may dress up as princesses.
5. Imagine if the next child was also – gulp– female! Oh the horror! What would I do? How could I live with myself after failing to produce a male heir?
The bottom line your family is just that: YOUR family.
One child, ten children, two girls, two boys, four girls, six boys- it’s no-ones business but your own.
If you want to go again, if you want to try for ‘the’ boy, go for ‘the’ girl by all means do.
I, however, do not…
…right now, while my hormones are in check anyway. 🙂